we're all doomed! :D

lets face it.....
_________

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman:No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant:Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester .


BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:I don'tknow.
White:I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant:Strong.
White:Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant:Louis.
White:Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What a Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France .
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski:Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski:Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris .


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:-Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:- Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant:The Conservative Party.


BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark:For ten pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne:What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant:Goosey?


GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant:I don't know. I wasn't watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
Presenter:What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
Caller:Mohicans.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil:What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil:I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:Is it five?


RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie:On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant:Er .. . .
Leslie:He makes bread . . ..
Contestant:Er .. . ..
Leslie:He makes cakes . . ...
Contestant: Kipling Street ?


LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter:I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant:The Pacific


ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant:Magna Carta ?.


JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien:How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant:Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .... ER .. ER ... Three?


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle:In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan .
Searle:I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller:Er ..... Mexico ?


PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.


DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham:Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully):It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant:No.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood:What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant:Er .. . .
Wood:It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . ..
Contestant:Blimey?
Wood:Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: [Silence]
Wood:OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant:Walked?


THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes:What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant:Nostalgia.


LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter:What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:Jewish.
Presenter:That's close enough.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright:Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant:Jesus.