Self belief – how to keep self doubt at bay

We all suffer from self doubt, no matter how confident we are, there are times when you question your capabilities.

My client is about to pitch to a major new business and it’s a big project and they desperately want them on their books. The proposal has grown in complexity since the initial briefing and they feel overwhelmed. They’re starting to doubt whether they can actually do this. Throughout our coaching sessions, we went through a range of exercises and discussions and here are a few things that really helped them:-

Talk about it

Be open and honest about how you’re feeling. Acknowledge that you have some doubts, say out loud what it is you’re worried about to a friend, mentor or coach. When you articulate your feelings and you hear it out loud, you can see a different perspective, maybe in the way you’ve described the doubt. Dig deeper into what’s really creating the doubt. For example, the contract is complex, but what is making it complex? It’s a potential new client – so the pressure is there to make a great first impression with the proposal. It’s a big project, so the financial reward is greater than other projects.

Question the source

What’s creating the doubt?Break it down, is it the people/client, the situation, the location, the timing. For example, you’ve presented a pitch to a panel of 4 before, now you have to present it to 50 people next week and you’ve not started developing the materials.

What’s the evidence

Is the self doubt being driven by your inner voice, your thoughts, that’s driving your feelings, questioning your capabilities? What evidence do you have that you’ll fail? Even if you’ve not signed a client before because your proposal didn’t make the grade, did you get some feedback? Did you learn? Would you make the same mistakes again? Instead, think about why the client has developed the proposal to be more complex, was it because they saw new skills in you that they could utilise, a new idea that you’re capable of, that they hadn’t seen in someone else?

Compare with care

What you do and how you do it, is unique to you. If comparing yourself to someone who is superior inspires you to be better, motivates you to improve, then that’s a great role model to look up to. If, on the other hand, you use them as a person who will keep you small and incapable, consider how those thoughts are impacting you. Remember they’re likely to have different backgrounds, upbringing, education, expertise or skills to you and when you’re comparing apples and pears, it can be demoralising. So next time you compare, be realistic and ask yourself what you get out of that comparison.

Turn up your strengths

It’s a natural instinct (negativity bias) to think about what could go wrong, it’s our human nature to keep us safe from danger. We let negative thoughts linger, we recall insults better than praise, we think more frequently about negative things than positive ones. So write down everything you’re good at. What skills, expertise, personality, competencies do you have that’s great about? What do you bring to the client? What can you do for them? Reconnect to your strengths and remind yourself how capable you really are.

This is just a snippet of tools and techniques that could help you overcome that self doubt. There are so many other ways to help you and you have to find the route that’s right for you.

Just remember, self doubt is normal human nature, if you care so passionately about doing something well, either in your professional or personal life, you’ll encounter those doubts. Try out some of these hints and tips and see which ones help you. However, if your self doubt is holding you back from stepping out of your comfort zone, from trying something new, from helping you grow, from the success you deserve, consider reaching out for some help.

If you would like a free call with me to discuss how coaching could help you with your self doubt, click here to book a FREE call - https://go.oncehub.com/ShwezinWin or visit my website on www.winatlife.uk/freelance-uk